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We asked 17 single men and women, ages 19-35, what they think about the rules of dating in the 21st century.

Emily, a 29-year-old graduate student, says: "If there are rules, they are a non-conscious part of my ideology.

and that showed off my figure and made me look feminine and casual. I know of several disastrous first dates because one party turned up hammered.

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I'd never wear anything new, as it just adds too much extra pressure. What you do is a very personal matter, but it's always good to know what is normal. Neither of you will be body proud once you get past 50. Some gay friends of mine nearly broke up as one of them had a little curious glance at an old dating site and a friend of his partner saw that he had been active on it and spilled the beans. Falling in love is so totally different from the first time round, you probably won't trust it at all.

I would choose something appropriate for the setting. DO NOT go for Dutch courage, and have a few drinks beforehand. Focus on the other person, on listening and finding out all about them, rather than impressing them about yourself. One date interviewed me as though for the job of wife/housekeeper. Men aren't too worried about the pubic topiary, but most prefer a little less than the full Gwyneth. Know that the man will be so terrified that he won't perform that he won't even notice your cellulite, big bum or whatever else it is you are worried about. Unless you're Madonna, and let's face it, most of us aren't. As a relationship develops, you will be on an emotional rollercoaster, with teenage-type angst.

In today's world, many people feel that dating rules have changed - so much so that people are constantly looking for new guidelines.

With today's dating styles as varied and eclectic as Elton John's wardrobe, it's difficult to draw any distinctions on the modern rules of love and dating.

Offering to cover the costs or split the bill shows you’re considerate and generous and lets your date know you’ve had a good time.

If your date does pick up the tab, make sure you insist on footing the bill on the next date, or at least buying a post-date round of drinks.

A key bit of dating advice here – preparation is an absolute must.

Knowing even just a little bit about your date beforehand will give you all the conversation starters you’ll need to keep those awkward silences at bay.

Louisa Whitehead-Payne, High50's dating columnist, has been detailing her romantic exploits since her husband ran off with the proverbial younger woman.

Here, she outlines a dozen dos and don'ts for dating in your 50s. What you want from dating will vary: love, sex, a good time, companionship.

If you met through a dating site, make sure you take time to look back over their profile and the messages you exchanges so you can remember what encouraged you to get in touch with them in the first place.


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