That first night that we texted we probably stayed up until 2AM talking about our lives.
He had the clenched jaw and ice blue eyes of a psychopath. After she finally got away from him, she texted me: “Now I’m freaking out that he spiked my Diet Coke, because he refilled it for me.” While I talked her down from the ledge on that one, real talk: this is a valid concern, because this dude was clearly insane. I’ll end with a story of my own, from my very short-lived experience with online dating.
Things started out fine, but it quickly became clear that this guy was a stage five crazy. All he could talk about was how messed-up society is. Or how about this one: my friend Amanda* thought she’d found a great guy online. This one was such a nightmare because it made me so sad— the last thing you want to feel after a first date.
Normally I would have gotten up and left after five, but I felt really sad for this guy. He also depicted himself completely differently online — so much so that I suspected he had very little self-awareness.
While he was not unkind, he seemed really out of it and alone. When he went in for a hug, I ducked away and down the stairs.
Sites such as Tinder Nightmares, Bye Felipe, and Not Ok Cupid document abysmal messages sent from weirdos, but what about when people appear to be perfectly normal until they show up for a date?
The following are some truly awful first dates, culled from women showed up and made an effort for this nonsense — and lived to tell the depressing tale. My friend Mara* went on a date with a guy in New York who can only be described as someone who could star in his own personal rendition of American Psycho. Mara told him, “Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t; it’s not working.”To finish things off, he started talking about how he never goes out anymore, because people always want to fight him, and that he attracts a lot of “bad energy.” She tried to leave the restaurant solo, but he left with her. He walked all the way to the train with her, but thankfully didn’t insist upon taking the same train. “I have needs.” She was so shaken, she worried he’d follow her home, so she followed a very meandering route and kept her eyes on the rearview mirror.So when Rob admitted to me that he is a versatile top (mostly top but sometimes likes it both ways) I have to admit I knew I would never meet him. He told me that I should delete the profile (which I hadn’t thought to do) and to be very careful. 30 seconds later I got a text in all caps saying: “WHY DID YOU DELETE YOUR PROFILE? I can’t say for sure but it looked like he was continually monitoring my now abandoned profile on the website throughout the day.Getting more uneasy, my morning phone calls began to seriously worry me. She handed me a large manila envelope with a handwritten address that appeared to be scribbled by a child.I was on the receiving end of the breakup and was a complete mess.I was in college and living at home for the summer in a very small town during the course of these events.For a guy in his late 20s, Rob didn’t have much of a career. ) and said we should go on a date that day (again, what? Sometimes he would call three times in a row, but always starting at AM. Considering I texted Rob for less than a twelve hour period this began to frighten me.