I sat for hours listening to straight white men talk about how there would be college professors who would challenge my faith and ridicule me for believing in God, and how there would be roommates, friends, or coworkers that would pressure me into having sex — because having sex as a good straight Christian woman, as we all know, is the cardinal sin.
One of those ways was (and still is) closing the cover of a book, taking a deep breath, and saying “yea, that was written for someone white.” It never takes me long to realize that most authors do not write for me.
I was the eldest daughter of a conservative Christian minister, and my parents did everything “right.” I was in church and Sunday school every week, part of a local AWANA club memorizing Bible verses, and homeschooled in a conservative group led by other religious parents.
Don’t EVER let anyone tell you that you need to be straight or the gender you were born with to be ok with God.
I love you very much and I hope that maybe one day we can all sit down together to have a drink and be fucked up together.
as I wrote the foreword to the second, revised edition in 2003.
(The original 1997 bestseller featured a foreword by Rebecca St. After the surprise of seeing my own words quoted in the excellent article by Samantha Field, I want to take this opportunity to publicly agree with her critique of my foreword and the book itself.— and the wider purity culture he was a part of and helped promote.
It was glorious, but I instinctively knew that I could never tell anyone about it.
Purity culture doesn’t curb sexual appetites, it just teaches you how to hide them.
*** by Joshua Harris originally came out in 1997, when I was ten and Joshua was twenty-three, although I didn’t read it until I was in college.
I’m aware of the fact that a twenty-three-year-old is going to say some laughably naïve things about relationships, and I think that Joshua might be aware of that, too.
My introduction to sex education was not presented as something that loving partners did to care for each other, but rather something horrific and ugly that a man did to a woman or child.