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This was significant because my ex hated RPGs – she thought they were the stupidest things ever and couldn’t imagine anyone she dated wanting to play them.She also didn’t care for them because it meant I was spending time with my friends and not with her (warning sign #2) – but this time she relented and .

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When I look back at my bad old days, there’re a number of things that stand out as emblematic of who I was – the fear of letting go of a bad relationship because I didn’t think I could do any better, being unable to relax and enjoy my time with one woman because I couldn’t stop looking for the shoe to drop… But there is one very specific night that, to my mind, was one of the most representative of how bad things were.

I had gotten permission from my girlfriend at the time (warning sign #1) to go play in a Mage campaign with my friends.

Of course, this is emotionally shredding and deeply damaging to the person who is letting this happen.

At best, you have a codependent relationship – one partner needing constant control and validation while giving up any personal responsibility and the other trying to shoulder the entire burden of both parties as well as take blame for any faults as an exchange for having the relationship. well, you’re prey for users, manipulative assholes and emotional abusers.

After the honeymoon period, where I was just astounded that I was having sex, our relationship became a matter of constant fighting, jealousy, guilt trips and having to justify myself on an almost daily basis.

Almost every fight we ever had would escalate from disagreeing over what to rent at Blockbuster to threats of breaking up with me… I allowed her walk all over me because I was willing to put up with this.

As a result, I became the sort of person who was very good at finding excuses for why things had gone wrong – it wasn’t Why would I do this?

Because I didn’t want to acknowledge my part: I was choosing to continue a relationship with someone who made me miserable.

and both are capable of reaping the rewards that come with rebuilding both.


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