They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead.” ― Various, “A panda walks into a bar. " The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute." The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. Look it up." She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary. " Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.
He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves.” ― Various, “A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-eeeeet!
Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars.
The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦” ― Various, “A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis are sitting at a bar complaining about their lives. I'm put in salads, and, to top them off, they pour ranch dressing all over me.
My life sucks." The pickle says, "That's nothing compared to my life.
I'm put in vinegar and stored away for months, out of sight. I hate life." So the penis says, "What are you guys complaining about?
This 18 year old little darling Asian gay boy loves to show off and have cyber sex on webcam.
He is horny and playful and wants to fulfill your gay Asian sex fantasies.
" And his dad replies, "Bitches are ladies and bastards are gentlemen." Then the boy goes upstairs to see his mom.
As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume bottle, and his mom says, "Shit! " and she says, "Perfume." So he goes to see his dad (who is carving a chicken), and his dad cuts himself and yells, "Fuck! " and dad says "preparing." Then he follows his dad upstairs. Hang your condoms up here, my mom is upstairs rubbing shit on her face and my dad is downstairs fucking the chicken.” ― Various, “Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft.
The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. ” ― Various, “An old lady went to visit her dentist.