It’s an illusion, but illusions can have tremendous power. MORE: 11 Definite Signs He Doesn’t Like You The solution here and the first step to getting out of the friend zone in general: Let’s keep talking about the damaged goods scenario though and why it can be a major trap if you don’t catch yourself. You yourself have been a victim to your own fantasies and dreams about what you two could be together.Sure, maybe you weren’t drawing unicorns and rainbows with his name surrounded by hearts in your notebook, but you are definitely a strong believer that you’re “meant to be together.” As romantic as all that sounds, it actually damages your chances for success in actually starting something.Let’s look at why: To put it quite plainly, you want something that simply is not reality.
He’s the only guy that you’ve ever felt truly understands you and with whom you can truly be yourself. you can talk for hours or even just be with each other in silence…
You get to see him as the man he truly is – an unguarded version of himself that he hides from the world and only seems to let you see. So why, in the midst of this seemingly perfect situation, aren’t you any more than friends?
It’s amazing how quickly a man will get his act together when he believes he might lose his shot at something. Sure, these arrangements usually end up melting down (maybe in a week, a month or a year), but during that time he gets to postpone dealing with his issues and can numb his pain with a simple girl who doesn’t unearth any skeletons … 3) The new girl had the advantage of a fresh “mystique” – that is, he doesn’t know anything about her and she put up a dazzling image that completely seduced him.
The reality of relationships is that for them to move forward, they need to deepen over time.
See, while you were listening to him sulk about his broken heart and smoothing his hair, new girl appeared out of nowhere as a limited-edition item. But the new girl who just entered the picture is completely fresh – he can act like whomever he wants to appear to be and she’ll accept that that’s who he is.
She attracted him and in some way made it clear (usually without a word) that if he wants her, he needs to act now or lose his shot. hint) 2) He knows he can put up a front and the new girl will buy it… But with you, you Sometimes a guy just wants a vacation from himself and his problems.
There are some great guys out there that have had their heart broken one to many times.
And by the time they’re in your life, they have a lot of unclaimed baggage that they have yet to resolve.
I don’t think anyone has put it better than, Paul Simon, in his song, Graceland: “…And she said losing love Is like a window in your heart Everybody sees you’re blown apart Everybody sees the wind blow…” I continue to have these close calls, over and over. In most of the cases, there were indications that their death was a possibility. Consequently, when she found out, she was not only blindsided, she lost any opportunity of speaking to the person.